Another Twist of Fate
by Yuffie-Girl
Summary: Injured and thrown into 1011 A.D. after an experiment gone wrong, Magus is forced to stay at Lucca's orphanage while he tries to find a way back. However, Magus and Lucca's egos are known to clash horribly. Post CT LuMa. Ch6: Another Battle of the Egos!
1. The Black Wind Howls

Disclaimer: As if I would have the riches and moola to own Chrono Trigger, what with just owning my PS2, my DVD collection, and a car that puts slow motion to shame. Hah!

__

Another Twist of Fate

By Yuffie-Girl

Category: Shhh! Don't tell anyone *looks shiftily from right to left*, but my main category for this one is romance, and my secondary category will be humor. Don't let the first chapter fool you, it will funny up by Chapter 2 (either that, or try to and fail pathetically). 

Rating: PG-13 all the way through, I think, but it's not written in stone. Swear words will pop up sometimes and I will most likely have some sexual references (though not enough to warrant an R).

Author's Note: This is also slightly AU, since Crono and Marle technically shouldn't be walking around in this one, but they are. 

Read on:

Magus smiled craftily to himself as he hovered above the frozen-over bay. 

At last. He had done it. He had succeeded in what, at first, had seemed the impossible. But now---but now those five long years of hard work and determination were going to pay off. 

He was going to learn the truth about his sister once and for all.

Massaging his muscled arms vigorously to rid himself of the biting cold (damn it all, he had always hated winter with a passion, but in a time period such as 12,000 B.C., that could not be helped), he stared down at the area directly below him, trying to calculate his next move. 

Damn...this was going to be tough.

The Ocean Palace (or what remains of it there were) lay two thousand feet under the ocean, right under this very bay. He had confirmed THAT, at least. Half a decade ago, when the Black Omen and Lavos had been destroyed, a large paradox had occurred in response, causing for the Ocean Palace to return to its original state deep below the ocean. And there was just a chance; maybe, just maybe, his sister was down there.

Alive or dead, he did not care. As cold as it sounded for a young man who had spent a good chunk of his life thus far yearning for her, all he really hoped for now was to know what had happened. If by some miracle she was still alive, then that would be considered an unexpected bonus. It wasn't entirely impossible, since even a simple spell could save one's life when in danger, but it had, after all, been five whole years since the Ocean Palace disaster. Either way, he would accept what he might find underneath; it wouldn't matter if it was good or bad.

Finally getting down to business, he raised his arms and began chanting an incantation that would allow the entire bay's ice to crack. He had pored over all sorts of spells similar to this one lately, having scrounged up what he could of all the remaining tomes of Zealian spellbooks, knowing that once he had finally found where the Ocean Palace lay, he would somehow have to raise it from the sea.

Almost five minutes passed, and, his voice hoarse from chanting, he suddenly started to become chagrined as the slowness of the spell's effects. Was there the possibility that he had come across a fake one? Or perhaps was he doing something wro---nah. Even though five years was enough time to change a person drastically, all the time in the world was not enough to affect Magus. He had been forced to reform a bit during his journeys with those simpletons back before Lavos was defeated (his biting, cutting remarks and constant threats never seemed to hit home with them, anyway), but he had reverted back to his old sarcastic, arrogant self once he had returned to his original time. Half of him now even sort of wished that he was back in the comforts of his dark, ancient castle, terrorizing those morons over in Guardia. At least then he had been respected and feared by his minions and enemies alike, the way it should have been from the beginning.

A loud snap suddenly brought him back from his brooding reverie. Noticing that the ice was starting to give way and large chunks were beginning to fall with ear-splitting splashes, he quit with the chanting and stared expectantly down at the bay.

He was forced to wait another five minutes for the center iceberg to finally slip soundlessly into the murky depths below, but when it did, he smirked inwardly, proud and satisfied with his work. Without a doubt he was probably the most powerful wizard the world had ever known, surpassing both of his parents and possibly even Schala. And those fools had compared him with an Earthbounder as a child...

After taking another momentary break to warm himself, he then adjusted his cloak and began with the tough work. To actually raise the Palace...

He flew further down, to right above the dull blue waters, now angry and torrential, and kicked off his attempt by hitting the area underwater with a massive anti-gravity spell, one that could cause hills to upturn and even small cities to float (the kingdom of Zeal had been based on that very spell, except that it had needed the Sun Stone to keep it afloat). Next came the actual incantation, which during he carefully watched for a major ripple or wave on the surface of the bay.

Finally he felt it, almost as if a chain linking him and the underwater palace was attempting to pull him down with it. He resisted, chanting harder, knowing that it would only be a matter of time until the Palace would be above sea level and he would be able to learn more about Schala. He knew that he had gotten ahold of something, at any rate, and he was not going to give up raising it without a fight.

Slowly but surely he made headway, pulling his prize up inch by excruciating inch. Finally, a small ripple could be seen on the ocean's surface. Next came a large wave! Magus smiled. It seemed that the Ocean Palace was coming up fast...

However, it slowly dawned on him that something was wrong when instead of seeing the obsidian, ultra-modern architecture of the Ocean Palace, he saw a shiny green swirl, moving and writhing as if it was alive...

Before he knew it he was sucked into a large vortex, more powerful and even more gravity-resistant now that it was above the water. How could he have been such an IDIOT?! He didn't know what could have been down there besides the Palace! And there most likely WAS time distortions still lingering from the catastrophe along with everything else! And now it looked to be a fatal mistake. He was being forced into somewhere unknown, a time and age different from wherever he had been, perhaps...Or maybe even...to nowhere. With his final energy he cursed at his stupidity.

All he saw was the distortion now; he was actually INSIDE it at this point. He could no longer see the snow-covered terrain of 11,995 B.C.; just the distortion silhouetted against blackness. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, and he could barely even think. He was starting to lose all hope, thinking that he'd be here for all eternity, when---

He hit the ground with a loud thump.

***

"Sis!"

...

"Sis!"

"...ugh..."

"SIS!! WAKE UP!!!"

"Wha?" A very groggy Lucca Ashtear slowly opened one eye, only to see that one of the children under her care, a very robust eleven year old girl, was hovering over her, looking frightened almost to the point of tears. Sitting up slowly, she switched on her small bedside lamp and stared squinty-eyed at her charge.

The girl started without any prompting on Lucca's part. "Sis!" she moaned, her hands shaking uncontrollably. "I- I had that dream again! It was so terrible, I-"

Lucca reached out and smoothed the child's straw-colored hair, managing to wipe a lone tear running down her pale features. "You know it was just a nightmare, Kid," she reprimanded softly, still blinking a little from the sudden burst of light. "Why do you always let it upset you so much?"

The girl known as "Kid" hiccupped slightly, another tear slowly making its way down her face. "Oh, I don't know, Sis, but tonight it was so- so...REAL."

Lucca sighed. This seemed to be quite a recurring dream for Kid, and there was not much that even she could do to allay the initial fear. "So did you figure out what it was?" she finally asked. 

"No...I couldn't see anything. There was just that dark wind again. It kept howling so bad...I was scared..." She fidgeted slightly.

"So you still don't know what was after you?"

Kid shook her head miserably.

Lucca had no idea what to say. Shaking her pounding head, she finally calmly ordered, "Well, all I can say is that it was just a dream and that you shouldn't even worry about something that's all in your head. Just go back to your bed and try to calm down-"

"But I'm afraid to sleep!"

"You don't HAVE to sleep! Just lay down and try to forget about it and wait for the morning to come. You might even laugh about it in the morning!" She took Kid's warm hand in her own and squeezed it.

Kid broke away, but reluctantly. "Well...OK," she said, quietly shuffling off to the doorway. "I'll try, Sis...But it felt so- so....COLD. Like something terrible just happened." She turned and disappeared without another word.

Lucca turned off the light and attempted to go back to sleep, but found it hard in coming. Kid's words continued to echo and echo in her head, as if something important was hovering just below the depths of her consciousness and was trying to break free. 

__

"There was just that dark wind again. It kept howling so bad..."

Her eyes suddenly snapped open in the darkness. There was no point in it, really, as no source of light could be seen with the exception of that orange light coming from that house across the bay, but...

Even thought there seemed to be no rationale to this, Kid's dream had unnerved her to the point of not being able to sleep, although she had no idea why. It was just a dream, after all; it had no form, no substance; hell, she hadn't even been the one to dream it! Yes, she DID feel rather sympathetic for the poor child, who had looked so miserable and sad when he had stood there shaking like that. But it HAD been a dream and nothing beyond that. Even if it DID seem to occur about once every two weeks, on average. But something still seemed to unsettle Lucca...

But there was no use worrying about it, she inwardly lectured herself as he rolled on her side to look at her bedside clock. 3:18 a.m. ... this was no time to be doing something in which using one's brain was required. The best thing to do was to just roll back over and go to sleep, and then wake up feeling refreshed in the morning, when all of this would seem ridiculous. It would be another tough, exhausting day, at any rate. As much as she loved running an orphanage full of healthy kids, looking after twelve of them DID tend to take away your energy...

But the Dark Wind... It still bothered her. The...Dark...Wind... It almost as if she had heard about it from somewhere, long, long ago, like she ought to know about it, that she SHOULD know about it, but for the moment it had just slipped her. She really didn't know WHERE or even _if _she had heard it spoken of before, but she seemed to make the immediate assumption that it was connected with something dark and unpleasant, even without Kid's description. But...HOW?! And more importantly..._where_?! 

Maybe this just all stemmed from her insecurity. She had been on her absolute guard for the past eleven years, but maybe that just hadn't been enough. Was, perhaps, her worst fear, however biased and completely far-fetched, beginning to come true?

Author's Note: Did you like? I did this chapter a long time ago (try last December), and I can't decide whether it works or if it's just far-fetched. Guess it doesn't matter, since this chapter was written to kick things off and not get into the main plot all that much. Chapter 2 will show what's really going on...and actually fit the summary, too!

Please review! :)


	2. Arrival of the Unwanted Guest From Hell

Disclaimer: What?! Chrono Trigger?! MINE?!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed! :) This chapter is more of an accurate gauge of what my fic'll end up being like, what with the writing style and whatnot. By the end of this one, the story will _finally _fit the summary. How's that? 

***

Lucca stared with hooded eyes over at the demi-human sitting across the table from her. He was a mysterious creature, a rather large cat who didn't seem to know any color to wear other than black. 

It hadn't been long, and it was the only first time she had met him, but she already had taken a dislike to the feline. There was something about him that didn't seem to be right...maybe it was just her imagination. Demi-humans were a fairly new thing to her; they had only been around for twelve years, after all, after she and her friends had changed the timeline upon defeating Lavos. 

She obviously had to start getting past this prejudice, however, if she wanted to be eating sometime soon. She had to make money to keep the orphanage afloat _somehow, _and that was by using her technological prowess to make and sell patents and to build weapons and other machinery for certain clients. This man (or cat, actually) was an envoy from Porre, a large country down south. 

"So..." She voiced slowly, stirring her coffee with her spoon. "What you're looking for is a type of submachine gun that is capable of extremely rapid fire, right?"

The cat merely nodded, giving her a stare with piercing yellow eyes that made her squirm in her seat. 

"Do you...need them right away?" she continued to prod, desperately wanting their meeting to end as soon as possible. She often met clients in this pub in Truce, some of them rather rough-looking, but never had she wanted to get out of here so quickly.

"As soon as possible," the feline replied in a low, smooth voice. "We need them for an operation coming up soon. I will meet you back here in two weeks to see your progress. Payment _only _after I've seen your work."

"All right." Lucca swallowed nervously, trying not to show that she was quite afraid of him. "I- I understand." She put down the spoon. "Is that everything, then?"

"Yes." He stood, his black robes billowing out all around him. "Remember, two weeks, or we'll be looking for someone who can do the job better."

"Can I- can I have a name, in case I have questions?"

He stared down at her, his pale eyes narrowing into slits. "You may call me...Lynx," he said after a moment, his gaze seeming to pierce her very brain. And without another word he turned out on his heel and left the pub.

***

As she began the half-mile walk back home, Lucca could not help but suppress a shudder as she recalled her conversation moments ago with the cold-looking demi-human.

__

(He was so...frigid. Something about him was inhuman. I don't know about anybody else, but I wouldn't like to cross THAT guy anytime soon.)

"Those stupid Porre bastards, anyway," she muttered out loud, quickening her pace. She felt bad, working for a country that would only use the weapons to take over more land, but she needed the money badly. As long as they never attacked Guardia...

But at any rate, she needed to hurry back home. The orphanage and the kids were now her life. She was twenty-eight now, past the age where girls would settle down and get married, and this way of life was the only one that she would ever know. Who would want _her_, anyway? Gigantic glasses, a love for anything geeky, and (in her opinion) a face that would petrify Medusa. What _was _there to love?

She hoped that Kid had managed to keep all eleven children in line while she had been away for the morning. Kid was a great help to her; she was almost twelve now, at least three years the elder of the next oldest kid. Lucca smiled as she recalled how she had found her as an infant, nestled in a blanket near a briar patch. She had been the single most important reason why she had started an orphanage. What kind of parent would have abandoned such a cute little girl in the first place?! She felt sorry for the children who would have to grow up on the street because of bad decisions their parents made. And besides, even back then she knew she'd never have a family of her own. So why not raise other people's kids?

She sighed as she remembered those days past, back to her seemingly carefree life before the orphanage (well, on the surface, anyway), during which she and her friends continually warped through time in order to save the world from a terrifying future. _(We were so scared, but we were also happy. We supported each other to the end. Frog, Ayla, Robo, Ma-erghhhh, I don't care about YOU- I wonder what you'd all think of me right now...)_

(YOU thought I was gonna be a great inventor, Frog... But look at me now; I like what I'm doing, but maybe it's just a waste of talent. I could be making a lot more money off those patents...)

(Wish I could see you all again. I still say that dismantling the Epoch was the most retarded thing I've ever done. But Marle wanted it that way. Go figure...)

Upon arriving home she was rather surprised to see that the very person she had been thinking of about was currently sitting on a chair on the patio, and waving at her so hard that it looked as if her arm might fall off. Yes, this person was Marle. She had always been a little on the energetic side...Crono, of course, was sitting next to her, smiling but not waving as furiously as she was. 

They had been the poster couple of Guardia about six years back, when they had been married in an ornate church with all of the kingdom's richest, most influential people attending. Marle and Crono...they had become inseparable during their adventures. Lucca would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous of them; Crono, after all, HAD been her best friend practically since birth, and the two both seemed so happy together, even after years of marriage. She wasn't one to cry over it, though. She had _never _been interested in Crono in -ahem- _that _way anyway. He was just not her type romantically. But..._Marle_? 

Maybe it was the whole royal lineage thing, but she had just never related to Marle. At all. During their journeys they had been good acquaintances at best, and sometimes outright enemies at worst. The only time that they had ever really come together was when Crono had died and they all had to try and find a way to revive him. Picky, fastidious, and with a spoiled attitude that would even put most royalty to shame, the two were polar opposites. It was still sometimes a rollercoaster with her even now (although since the wedding the two had taken quite a downhill turn; since then they had taken to picking at each other while Crono looked on helplessly). 

They rarely stopped out to see Lucca anymore; their duties as King and Queen (Marle's father had passed on about two years ago) didn't allow them to come out to the orphanage very often. When they did, though, it was always fun to sit around and remember the past. Twelve years hadn't changed the two one bit; Crono was still Crono and Marle (perhaps even unfortunately) was still Marle. It was something that she could always count on. 

"You GUYS!" she screeched breathlessly, running the last twenty odd yards to the house. "You should have called!"

Crono just smiled as he, ever the gentleman, stood up from his seat so that Lucca could sit down. "Yeah, well," he replied, scratching his head, staring around at the small group of kids playing in the yard nearby, "We figured you'd just say you were busy again, and it's been four months, so..."

"I NEVER say I'm busy!" Lucca exploded, discretely attempting to cease little Tommy from succeeding in secretly wiping boogers on Marle (although in all truth she wanted to just let her have it).

"Well, you do!" he insisted. "I don't know if you really _are _busy, or just pretending to be busy, or wha-"

"CRONO!" Marle scolded, her strawberry blonde hair angrily whipping to one side. 

"Er---well..." He grinned sheepishly, not wanting to ignite what was known as The Wrath of Marle.

But Lucca just grinned and shrugged it off. "Well anyway, it was great for the two of you to come down here," she voiced while trying to steer Tommy (who had still had a cunning look on his face) towards the other children. "'Cause, as you can see, it's not very -er- economical for me to come to your place too often." She finally succeeded in her task and sat back down with the two. 

Marle stared at the happy, carefree children with a disgusted look on her face. "Honestly, Lucca, I really don't see _what _possessed you to run an orphanage. All those rowdy kids, with their grimy, mucky hands---ugh!"

"Well, it works for me, at any rate," Lucca replied coolly, staring right back at Marle, with her fashionable attire and slender, diva-like body. "And besides, Marle, you'll get your turn soon enough, that is, if you want to keep the Guardia line going. Remember to work out a lot in order to lose all those pregnancy pounds!"

Marle, although she had a strange, cross-eyed look on her face, was either too polite or too dumb (Lucca was betting on the latter) to retort. _(She's just asking for it today,) _she thought in disgust. _(It's so weird with her. One minute she's acting all sugary and the next she's pure venom. Must run in the idiot gene...)_

Crono, who had been sitting and watching the exchange with a sort of a half-open mouth, decided to cut in before the conversation escalated. "Heh-heh, I see you two are as witty as ever!" he cut in, letting forth an obviously fake bout of laughter. "It makes me feel as if we were journeying around the world just yesterday!"

Lucca could not help but roll her eyes. "_Yeah, _Crono, sitting around here and talking about having kids is _exactly _like traipsing for thirty miles for thirty days in the literal middle of nowhere with a frog, a robot, a cavewoman, and a warlock with destructive tendencies." 

Crono was raising his eyebrows and Marle was knitting them in an attempt to work out Lucca's cryptic wording when suddenly a high-pitched shriek sounded out from the backyard. "SIS!! SIIIIIIIIIIIIS! HELP! QUICK!"

Lucca sat bolt upright in her seat. "That sounds like Kid," she half-whispered, scrambling out of the patio chair. "Oh God, what could be happening?!" An adrenaline rush consisting only of sheer panic suddenly overtaking her, she sped off in the direction of the backyard, all the rationale that she normally had seeping out of her like an off-brand paper towel. 

__

(Oh no, oh NO!! I KNEW it! I just absolutely, positively KNEW it! That dream she had---I KNEW I should have listened to what she was saying! But I blew it off--serves me right.)

(Or what if it's---what if it's...THEM?! SHIT!! And what if they decide to-)

However, the unknown entity known as "them" remained shrouded in mystery for the time being, as Lucca cut off the thought when she skidded to a halt in front of a very distraught-looking Kid, standing in the middle of the backyard, who looked upset but none worse for the wear. 

"Kid!" she gasped, looking her up and down for any sign of injury or -well- wrongness. "What's going on?! Why did you yell like that?!"

"Luccaaaaaaaaaa!" Kid wailed, tears welling up in her eyes. "It's terrible! There's---there's a- a man lying in our backyard!"

And Lucca, despite the fact that the man in question for all she knew could be a serial killer or something equally as bad, breathed a sigh of relief.

"S-i-i-i-i-i-s! HOW can you be relieved?! HOW?! The man looks _dead_, for crying out loud!" 

"Well, I thought that you were hurt or something!" Lucca reprimanded indignantly, giving her charge a stern look. "Don't _scare _me like that!"

"Hey, what seems to be the trouble, guys?!" Crono and Marle were both running up at this point, puffing and wheezing. Both of them looked extremely flabbergasted as they looked around and didn't see anyone maimed, injured, or hurt.

Kid gestured towards the back grove. "C'mon, he's back there!"

They all ran up to where she was pointing, only to find that what Kid was saying was indeed true. There _was _a man lying facedown in the ferns, and he looked as if he had had a terrific fall at that, with his leg bent at a weird angle and his long cloak tangled under him. The fact that his back was heaving up and down, however, ruled out the fact that he was dead.

"We-ell, it looks like he's alive," Lucca said reluctantly, squinting down at him as she bent over to pick up a large stick lying nearby. "Whatever made you think he was dead anyway, Kid?!" She began to prod the poor man quite voraciously with the stick. "See? Watch! He's twitching!"

"Uh---uh---Lucca," Crono sounded out, staring at the scene with his mouth half-open, as was usual with him. "He looks really injured right now. Uh---maybe you shouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah, right." She tossed the stick into the underbrush, looking at the others in confusion. "But what the hell is he doing IN MY BACKYARD?! Why did he have to pick HERE to be unconscious?!"

Crono shook his head. "He didn't. And your guess is as good as mine."

Marle squinted. "Why don't we take a look at his face and see who he is?! Maybe he's from around here or something."

"Yeah..." Crono bent down and slowly began to turn the man around so that his face was visible, making careful sure to not bump his injured leg as he was rolled over. Slowly, slowly... As the features of the man slowly became visible, everyone but Kid paled as it dawned on them that THIS man was indeed very recognizable. So recognizable that it _hurt. _

"Lucca!" Marle gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. "Why--why--what is MAGUS doing in your backyard?!"

Author's Note: I'll prob'ly update this anywhere from six days to a week and a half. Not sure. It all depends. This fic is even older than some of my recently posted ones, which means I already have quite a bit planned and written out, but I still don't want to feel rushed when I start writing new stuff. 

And, of course, I can't finish this out without my usual desperate plea for reviews. So, um...PLEASE?! I am especially curious about my plot. The part with Lynx and the stuff in the beginning greatly has to do with things that happen later in the story, and I need to be able to fix any problems before I'm too far in. Thanks! :)


	3. Arrogance Incarnate

Disclaimer: *Rolls eyes* Honestly...to even be _somewhat _like the guy who owns CT, I'd hafta have a sex change, move to Japan, and have a LOT more cash than I actually have. 

Author's Note: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! I've just had an insane couple of weeks, so I never got around to writing much. Plus I have another fic that can sometimes be an absolute pain in the ass to write. 

Oh yeah, something that red mage said reminds me to add something...yes, I am trying to be cautious about how Chrono Crossy this fic gets. Anything that happens here (and some of it could be slightly AU) will NOT have happened onscreen in Chrono Cross. Some of the stuff with Lucca and the orphanage, obviously, will have been mentioned in Chrono Cross, but that's as far as I go. There will be a lot going on with some of the original characters from CT and also with Guardia and everything, so I would say that CT is the better category for this fic. Thanks, red mage! 

***

"I just can't believe this," Crono muttered as the trio stared at the pointy-eared, blue haired warlock who was currently lying prostrate in the bed of one of the empty rooms. "I mean...HOW did he manage to get here?"

Lucca shook her head. "Who knows," she spat contemptuously, fighting the urge to give the bed a good kick. "One of my better theories is that he finally attained nirvana because of the constant swelling in his already overlarge head." 

As Crono looked over at his childhood friend in surprise and Marle was shrieking "eeeeuuuuuuwww!" in an annoyingly high-pitched voice, Lucca walked over to the other side of the bed and squinted down at his face, continuing on, "Yeah, it's him, without a doubt. I don't know how or why or how he got here, but as much as I hate to admit it, it's definitely him."

"But doesn't he look a little young?" Marle asked, having gotten over Lucca's so-called bout of grossness. "I mean, it HAS been over ten years."

"Anything's possible with time travel, hon," Crono replied, although looking equally puzzled. "And we don't even know how he traveled through time in the first place. There aren't any Gates anymore, even considering you have a Gate Key to activate them." He shook his head and drew closer to inspect Magus more carefully. "Look, he's all beat up. Cuts, bruises, and I think his leg's broken for su-"

"And hopefully he managed to hit his head, too," Lucca growled, her nose in the air. "So that maybe, just maybe, he gets a bout of amnesia, causing his personality to be altered and so that he isn't such an _annoying pain in the ass _with every breath he takes!"

"Hey, what's your problem with him, anyway?" Crono gave her a sidelong glance, looking even more confused. "I _know _that he got a little arrogant sometimes, but he wasn't all THAT bad."

"A _little _arrogant?!" Lucca exploded, glaring daggers over at her friend. "You're saying just a _LITTLE _arrogant?! Crono, the man lives, breathes, and wallows in arrogance! He's arrogance incarnate! You'd have to call him arrogant _ten times in a row _just for someone to get the meaning of how truly arrogant he is!"

"Oh, geez. I never should have asked..."

"Well, you'd better get used to him, then," Marle said to Lucca with a smirk. "Because obviously he's going to have to stay at _your _house."

Lucca tried to put her foot down. "He is most certainly NOT!! I have kids to care for! And besides, _you're _the one with the four hundred and twenty room castle! You've got plenty of room!"

But Crono shook his head. "No, she's got a point, Lucca," he said slowly. "With his leg in the condition that it is, it'd be very hard to move him without injuring him further. He's probably better off here anyway; maybe you two can figure out a way to get him back to his own time."

"I am NOT helping that bastard, Crono!" Lucca shot back as she followed the duo back down the stairs and towards the front door. "He's so mean and rude and conceited and-"

"And you'll be able to dump him off faster if you just swallow your pride and help him," Crono cut her off as he pulled on his boots near the door. "I'm sorry, Lucca, I wish we could stay on and help you for awhile, but it's almost five and we've got a five mile walk back home. Not to mention it's REALLY embarrassing if they send the Guard out to look for us..." He rolled his eyes. "We'll try and come back for awhile tomorrow morning. I'm sure you'll have a lot on your hands." With a final wave he exited the house, leaving her with just Marle as she slipped on a pair of extravagant leather moccasins that had glittery sequins sewn onto the sides. 

Lucca couldn't help but glare at her unblinkingly. _(Gods, Marle, dumping me with HIM, of all people! And on purpose, no less! You must really want to make my life miserable...)_

But Marle just flashed her a sugary sweet smile as she daintily laced up her shoes and began to head for the door herself. "Well, you have a good time now, Lucca! I'll see if I can find time for us to pop in tomorrow morning and maybe help you out a little. Until then, don't get too stressed out!" She had to emit a last giggle as she popped her head back inside the house, her purse dangling lazily from one arm. "Oh, and a point of advice for you, Lucca, from someone who knows it: those novellas that you buy at Fritz's _really _don't reflect the real world. I know you're desperate, but don't try seducing Magus now! I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate that." The door banged shut, bouncing a couple of times before it finally stood still. 

The first impulse that Lucca had was to chuck a few rocks at her from behind as they went down the driveway, but knowing her painful coordination...well, there was always the chance that the rock might backfire and she could end up hitting herself. Instead she turned away and slowly walked up the stairs, fuming at her defeat and absolutely dreading the time that her insufferable charge would choose to wake up. _(ARGH!! She is so...so STUPID!! This whole situation is STUPID!! How the hell did I ever manage to get myself knee deep in THIS crap?!)_

(Oh yeah, because I'm me. Nice Lucca, steady ol' Lucca. Lucca-who-has-absolutely-no-life-so-that-we'll-dump-this-angry-PO'd-wizard-at-her-house-for-ten-months-so-that-she'll-go-insane. It's great to be me right now, ain't it?)

(And I DON'T read those novellas. Geez...I just buy one once when I'm sixteen and she lets me know about it for the next decade.)

She made her way back into the guest room and sat in the recliner situated across from Magus, who was still obviously out cold, seeing as she hadn't heard any demands or threats being issued towards her or anyone else around. She stared at him quizzically, her hands folded across her lap as she gently rocked back and forth. 

It was very hard to believe that it was even him, for more reasons than just the fact that time travel had been rendered impossible by their group more than ten years ago. No, there was something else...she couldn't quite put her finger on it, really. Perhaps it was just as simple as the fact that he was in La-La Land right now, from which he couldn't move, talk, or -well- be Magus.

And the fact that he was Magus had a lot to do with her not wanting to keep him here in the first place. Although Lucca knew that when face-to-face with him he wasn't nearly as fearsome as the history books had made him out to be (he was actually a little more on the arrogant and annoying side), she _really _didn't want her kids to be exposed to him. He definitely had a penchant for trying to scare the crap out of people littler and weaker than him, and six year old children were obviously in that category. Hell, he had been able to do that to her when she was in her TEENS. She remembered some of the little spats they had gotten into back during her travels quite well...

But he wasn't getting anywhere with her, she had decided somewhere between the time he had been found and when the others had left. She might have been a little intimidated by him and his arrogant, bossy manner back in her adventuring days with Crono and the gang, but back then she had been awkward, gawky, and only sixteen years old. And twelve years should have been able to change _something_ about that, right? _Right?! _She had had ENOUGH.

But the fact that he was even in this time period unnerved her still more than their hatred of each other. _(And what the HELL is he doing here in the first place?! I mean, didn't he go back to 12,000 B.C. to find Schala?! Unless he really knows what he's doing there's no possible way to time travel anymore. This could mean that someone else besides us is screwing around with time...) _That last thought alone was enough to frighten her out of her wits. And it wasn't impossible either, as much as Crono and Marle had always tried to dissuade her out of it. A lot of damage could be done throughout history if the concept of time travel was to fall into the wrong hands...

Lucca continued to stare at his form, rising and falling under the covers with each breath he took, trying to find a way for this to all make sense. _(This is weirder than weird. For all I know this Magus might not have met me yet---geez, what if he tries to hurt me or something?! This can't be goo-)_

"Sis?" The voice suddenly broke through her deep reverie, causing her to jump in her chair before she realized that its owner was just Kid, who in all the chaos she had completely forgotten about, along with the other children. Shit...having Magus around was _already_ starting to complicate things!

"Er---" Kid continued, unable to take her eyes off the slumbering Magus, "everyone's starting to get really hungry. I know you might be busy, but-"

"Oh, sorry!" Lucca immediately stood up and began to head for the doorway. "Sorry, I just got so caught up in all this, I completely forgot-" She stopped talking when she noticed that Kid continued to look askance at everyone's favorite warlock. "Oh, you don't have to worry about him. He doesn't bite or anything." _(At least not when he's asleep,) _she did not care to add.

Kid shook her head. "It's not that, Sis. I know he's fast asleep, but...but..." She paused momentarily, fumbling for the right words. "He looks kinda -oh I don't know- familiar or something."

"But I _know _you've never seen him, Kid!" Lucca put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "_I _haven't even seen him for at least ten years!" 

"I know...That's what's so weird." She gave Lucca a puzzled look and then headed down the hallway, her blonde pigtails bouncing lightly behind her.

Deciding to check on her aggravatingly handsome charge before she left the room herself, Lucca walked up to the side of the bed and felt Magus's forehead, making sure that a fever hadn't cropped up in reaction to his injuries. The absolute LAST thing she needed for him to do right now was to start-

She suddenly wrinkled her nose in disgust. Wait a minute---had she just thought of him as _handsome?! _She had, hadn't she?! Calling that insufferable know-it-all handsome...maybe she needed to get some thicker glasses.

But he really wasn't all that bad-looking, she mused as she smoothed his fine blue hair back from his forehead a little longer than she should have. Especially when that constipated grimace he always had on his face when awake was gone. Without it he actually looked sort of _normal. _Without it she noticed his high cheekbones...evenly complexioned skin (although perhaps a little white)...a high aristocratic nose...and, of course, that long, flowing hair...

Suddenly she jumped, drawing her hand back as if it had been burned. "Ugh, what am I thinking?!" she said out loud, turning for the door. "The man's a complete ass, for crying out loud! No amount of good looks could _ever _attract anyone to that--that arrogant SNOB!" She left for the kitchen, feeling quite ashamed of herself, and especially of her right hand, which, as just demonstrated, seemed to have recently acquired a mind of its own. 

Maybe Marle, in her own cruel way, hadn't been far from the mark. Maybe she _was _starting to get a little desperate. 

Author's Note: Yes, I'm ashamed of where this is going, and yes, they WILL be annoying the hell out of each other when he wakes up next chapter. I won't get into much into name-calling or anything like that, though. I've done a LuMa like that before, and though I thought it was funny, it made me wonder if I should write a whacked-out sequel involving them going to divorce court or something. They were calling each other something literally EVERY OTHER LINE... Oh, and does anyone think Marle is OC? Over a decade has passed, so perhaps she's had a lot of time to get snobby and out-of-touch with everyone, but should I tone her down a bit?

Anyways, if ya liked it, hated it, or whatever, please drop a review if you will. Reviews are cool! :)


	4. World War III Breaks Out

Disclaimer: Honestly, if CT was mine I'd currently be lounging around on a beach near a five star resort, deciding whether I'd rather have a Porsche or a Viper. :)

It happened to be breakfast time at Lucca's house, and that always meant complete and utter chaos. Watching exhaustedly as the children noisily consumed their porridge and toast, she wiped the sweat from her forehead and bent down to clean up a particularly nasty spill of what (hopefully) appeared to be orange juice, cursing her chosen profession for what seemed to be the millionth time. 

__

(There are just some days...SOME days where I wonder just what the HELL I was thinking when I opened up an orphanage.) She involuntarily reached up to scratch her head, only managing to get the mysterious orange goo in her hair. _(And THIS day is one of them,) _she thought as she uttered silent but vicious curses to herself under her breath.

The day had already gotten off to a bad start. It had unceremoniously kicked off with Maribelle waking her up and complaining that someone had plugged the toilet, causing her to stand in the bathroom with a plunger and fight a losing battle with Whatever-God-Only-Knows-What for a half an hour. No sooner had she replaced the accursed and very smelly instrument back in the utility closet than a huge explosion had rocked her side of the house, giving her a rather nasty reminder that she should have replaced about half the chemicals she was storing in her room a very long time ago. After ANOTHER half an hour of cleaning up smoky, pungent, and overall mysterious things _there_, she limped back down to the kitchen to start breakfast, immediately discovering that her two youngest charges had decided to see what it was like to finger paint with the pancake batter she had had standing on the counter. Nothing seemed to be sacred in this house. _Nothing!! _

(And we haven't even seen the worst yet,) Lucca thought as she ventured a glance up the stairs, over towards where Magus's room was. She knew he would be waking up _sometime _today, although she wasn't quite sure when. His injuries had certainly been bad but in no way life-threatening. All she knew was that what would ensue would probably be close to apocalyptic, if she wasn't severely mistaken...

Noticing that she had actually been wiping a clean spot for about the past five minutes, she threw the rag back into its bucket and dished herself up a plate of food, sitting down across from Kid at the end of the table. "You look a lot better," she commented lightly, taking a swig of orange juice. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yeah," Kid replied slowly, taking a bite of something-or-other. "No dreams or anything. I don't even have that one all that often. It's just that - that - that when I do, it's - it's..._awful_." 

Lucca stared at her charge, noticing the pale look on her face at even the mention of the dream. What a nightmare it must have been - she still didn't like talking about it, even after another night. She mentally noted to take some time later to check out some of her old psychology books; perhaps they held an answer to the cause of Kid's current grief. 

Her mental note to self, however, was suddenly rudely interrupted with the sound of a loud crash and the sound of an indignant, angry voice carrying over from some distance away (but, unfortunately, not far enough) : "Who's down there?! I demand that someone come up here and tell me where I am at _once_!"

Lucca sighed as her heart seemed to plummet downwards and out of her body. Yes, the voice was unpleasantly familiar. And yes, it was coming from _upstairs_. Given these two facts and the third one already stating that an evil wizard had taken over her guest room, one could only deduce that Magus was wide awake, and a little too early for her liking at that. _And _that his vocal chords were, unfortunately, uninjured. 

She stood up and nodded at Kid, who, along with the others, had stopped chattering in surprise in reaction to Magus's _very _colorful tirade. "Make sure no one kills each other while I'm gone," she said to her amid the loud shouting, beginning to climb the stairs. "I have a feeling I'm gonna be up there awhile."

***

Angry blood-colored eyes immediately glared unblinkingly at her the moment she entered the room, carrying a wet rag and some bandages in tow. For a split second Lucca's stomach gave a rather grinding lurch and her knees began to feel a little rubbery as those eyes narrowed in recognition, but she managed to shake it off, reminding herself that the circumstances were totally different now than what they had been over a decade ago.

__

(Calm down, calm down...you are NOT an awkward sixteen year old girl anymore. And you will NOT stand to be bullied. If he so much as raises his eyebrows at you, then...then FLARE his ass all the way to Choras!)

Well, maybe not to THAT extreme... _(We-ell, maybe a WEAKER Fire spell... Not Flare. I'm just ASKING to go to the Void if I do THAT!)_

Putting the bundle of bandages down on the dresser, she approached the right-hand side of the bed, ordering him in a businesslike manner, "Lift your leg."

The reply sounded rather disgruntled. "What?!"

Lucca gritted her teeth. "I _said, _LIFT your LEG. I have to check if it's broken!"

Disgruntled silence.

"LIFT your LEG!! Don't you know what a leg is?!" Lucca spat, determined to win this first battle. It seemed he hadn't changed a hell of a lot in twelve years...

"And what if I don't?" his reply was infuriatingly calm, a smile starting to play on his thin lips. Apparently his love of torturing people hadn't went away, either...

"Then - then you'll just have to STAY there!" she exclaimed, stamping her foot so hard that the floor vibrated for a minute. "As if _I'm _gonna waste my time yelling at you!"

"You already are, if you hadn't noticed." Magus laughed harshly, straightening up as Lucca started to turn red. "But that doesn't matter, as I am leaving. _Now_," he added pointedly.

Lucca scowled, still blushing. "Your leg looks broken," she replied flatly. "You won't be going _anywhere, _not unless you love screaming in pain."

The nasty, smug grin began to come back. "Why so concerned? Lonesome, maybe? Just broke up with your pasty-skinned, greasy-haired boyfriend, perhaps?"

"YOU'RE the one who's pasty-skinned, scumbag!"

"Oh, _I _know! You just lost the battle with the princess over-"

If Lucca had been able to froth at the mouth, she definitely would have been doing it by now. "VERY thin ice, Magus, and you're treading _right on it!_"

"As if a little water would frighten me," he replied coldly, throwing back the covers and sitting up. "Now if you've with finished making a fool out of yourself, I believe I have a time period to find my way back t-"

His bold statement, however, was suddenly and rudely interrupted by a loud, sickening crunch. Lucca had to fight back a triumphant smile as she watched him trip right over his useless leg and crash into the floor, cursing vehement medieval oaths as he went. "See?" she said crisply as she reluctantly helped him back into bed, fighting back an especially nasty insult that had just come to mind. "There's really something wrong with your leg. Now _let me look at it!_"

After a haughty, indignant glance that could have melted ice, he finally threw the covers back again and gingerly stuck out his leg, still cursing to himself. Trying to ignore the fact that her face was turning a vibrant shade of fire engine red, she pulled up his pants cuff to the knee and began inspecting the leg. The sooner she found out the problem, she reasoned, the sooner he would be out of here. And, seeing how things were going, that would be _wonderful. _

She took a moment to stare at his face mid-inspection. It was scowling at her. His aristocratic nose seemed to curl up when pointed in her direction, and his red eyes flashed dangerously as he noticed what she was doing. His cerulean hair tumbled loosely down past his shoulders. He currently had the air of a trapped, cornered animal. A trapped, cornered animal who bit, mind you. 

She looked down quickly and continued to feel around his ankle. _(Ugh, and I thought he was kinda CUTE when he was sleeping last night?! I KNEW I should've been noticing what the kids were putting in my juice earlier...Him, CUTE?! That insufferable, arrogant, unlovable, know-it-a---)_

"OW!" He suddenly kicked out at her when she found an apparently tender spot on his ankle, narrowly missing her glasses while he was at it.

Lucca smiled triumphantly. "See, what did I tell you? There's definitely something wrong."

He scowled. "Then don't stand there and stare at me, you idiot! Find out what!"

Rolling her eyes, she bent down to further inspect the ankle. "Yes, Your Highness..."

They both sat in a strained silence for a moment as she looked, each one desperately wanting to gore the other. 

Finally Lucca lifted up her head and announced, "Well, it doesn't look like it's broken or anything."

"And?"

"It's just a bad sprain."

"And?"

"And you'll have to lie around until it heals."

"_And?!"_

"AND YOU'LL BE STUCK HERE FOR THREE OR FOUR DAYS!" she shouted, shooting him a glare that would have made a normal person cower. "ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW?!"

"Just let me think about that for a moment, will you?" he replied coldly, letting forth a very punctuated pause. 

"..."

"..."

"..."

"HOW ABOUT _NO_?!" he finally roared in reply, giving her one of his trademark deadly-ice glares. 

"I thought that."

"You obviously don't understand," he went on impatiently in an imperious tone. "I have to get back to my time period - _now. _There's something I must do, and I obviously can't do it here."

"What? Forget to feed Alfador?" 

"Don't you _dare _mock me-"

"You're just _asking _to be mocked!" she shot back, the anger suddenly starting to seethe within her again. "Listen, as much as _I _don't want you here either, it can't be helped! I can't move you, and _you _can't _move_! Just accept it for a few days and quit your whining!"

"Easy for you to say! _You _won't be sitting here and letting a huge window of opportunity slip away!" he hissed, shifting restlessly. He craned his neck to stare out of the open window nearby. "What year is it, anyway?" he asked moodily after a moment.

"It's 1011," she replied back through clenched teeth. "Almost _twelve _years since we defeated Lavos, just like you! Lost a few brain cells since I saw you last, have you?"

"And _you've _never had any to begin with," he shot back coolly.

Lucca turned crimson, angry that she had been one-upped. "Oh, how very witty of you, twisting my words around to insult me back again. Witty _for someone with only a one digit I.Q.!" _

She suddenly turned away from him, having realized that her legs were shaking and that she was growing angry beyond measure. He had _always _had power over her like that, making her so mad that she couldn't even speak properly. And she was an _adult _now?! This was ridiculous! She was acting just like the toddlers in her care! 

She realized that she'd better just up and leave before something got broken. But not before she dealt one more blow to his pride...She left the room and headed to the bathroom next door for a few seconds, coming back with something large and well-scrubbed in her hands.

A shiny gold bedpan.

"_Here_," she hissed, practically chucking it onto his lap. "I believe you'll be needing this!"

The look on his face was priceless. "_What?!"_

Lucca headed for the door. "Well, I'm not carrying you to the bathroom every five minutes!" she said in a business-like tone, fighting the urge to laugh. 

"This is it! I am _not- _I am _not-_"

"Quit whining or I'll _watch!"_

His dangerous voice was back. "You wouldn't _dare!_"

"I would," Lucca just replied, shutting the door behind her with a click. (_There, that'll keep him from yelling for awhile,) _she thought, hurrying back downstairs. _(Now just to clean up breakfast...)_

But she wasn't even blessed with THAT opportunity. Because yet another annoyance reared its ugly head...No sooner was she down to the landing than she heard a loud knock on the front door. She looked out the peephole only to find that Crono and Marle were waiting on the patio, holding two giant black bags and a stack of gigantic tomes that looked like they were full of healing spells. 

Her life was forever cursed. 

Author's Notes: I've always had a lot of fun writing up banter for Lucca and Magus, so I couldn't resist doing a chapter like this. Don't worry, I'm trying to keep Magus as in character as possible, as I was told several times on my last fic that he needed to be a little more stoic and also probably above the name-calling that I tended to do. He only flipped out earlier because he had been on the brink of figuring out what had happened to Schala. I'm also trying to label Lucca as less meek and a little more hot-headed, but also sensitive. I hope it's working...

Anyway, we get a little more into the plot next chapter, with Crono and Marle there as well. I appreciate any comments, advice, or even just saying whether you liked or hated it! I'm still don't really have a real sense of direction for this fic yet, and besides, it lets me know that you guys are out there! :) 


	5. A Meeting of the Egotistical, Arrogant M...

Disclaimer: Chrono Trigger ain't mine. The plot of this story, unfortunately, is, though. 

Author's Note: ARGH!! I've had this one done for ages, but I wasn't gonna post it until I was absolutely sure that the upgrades on the site were finished. *Sigh* It turns out really bad for me every time I post during an upgrade or around the time when the server goes down...

***

"Oi, Marle!" Crono called out from behind a high wall of thick, ancient tomes. "Take a look at this spell; I think we ought to give it a try!"

Marle, dropping a rather advanced-looking volume of herbal remedies, hurried across to his side of the table to see for herself. "_How _many times must I tell you, Crono?!" she exclaimed after a moment, a look of disgust creeping across her delicate features. "Cure magic will _not _work on injuries like that! We need to find something different!"

Crono smiled sheepishly. "Well - I just thought -"

"Well, you thought wrong!" Her hair whipped angrily to one side. "Go look in that other book; see if there's some non-elemental magic somewhere. Go on!" she coaxed as he grabbed the next dusty book in the pile.

He looked up at her momentarily as he discovered an illustration of a woman wearing a copious amount of jewelry. "Heyyyyy, what about your pendant? Doesn't it have magical powers?"

"You mean it _did," _replied Marle hopelessly. "It's been away from the Mammon Machine for way too long - it won't even glow anymore."

He banged his fist on the table. "Crap. We're getting absolutely nowhere..."

As if on cue Lucca suddenly came down the stairs and into the kitchen, having just put some of the younger children to bed. "Any luck?" she asked them with a hopeful look on her face. 

"None at all," Crono replied glumly, shutting the next book with a snap. "The spells either won't work or any of us three are unable to cast 'em." 

Lucca wrinkled her nose. "Well, why can't the oaf just cast his _own _spells, then?!" she exclaimed indignantly. "It's not like he's too hurt to use magic! And he's supposedly-" -here she made quotation marks- "the _greatest _wizard who _ever _lived, after all-"

"The greatest wizard who ever lived concerning black magic, you mean," Crono cut in quickly. "He said he can't cast any healing spells. _At all._"

"Just my luck," Lucca mumbled, slapping herself upside the forehead. "I guess this means I'm stuck with him after all, I suppose."

"You bet you are!" simpered Marle, shutting her book as well. "But just look on the bright side, Lucca - the two of you have plenty of time to _get to know each other_, if you catch my drift."

"I catch it," Lucca said stonily, the mere thought of it -both with and without innuendo- making her want to hurl, "and I'd rather _not_."

Marle put her nose in the air. "Your loss, then," she replied airily. "But just remember what I said - twenty years from now, when you're starting to grow old and fat-"

"MARLE!" Crono exclaimed in a shocked voice. "Apologize!"

"Oh, sorry," she said quickly, as if she was actually not sorry at all. She then stood up and headed for the staircase, her black medical bag in hand. "I'll be upstairs if you need me. I'll just put a poultice on his ankle - it might heal faster if I do." She went up the stairs and out of sight.

"Listen, I'm sorry," Crono immediately started apologetically, "I just don't know what's got into her concerning you-"

Lucca cut him off by calmly shaking her head, although in reality she was by now about two steps away from just setting the guest room - with _both _Marle and Magus in it - into a fiery burst of flame. "Don't sweat it," she said, sitting in the chair next to him. "It's not your fault. She's just got her world - and I've got mine." She sighed wearily.

"You're really stressed right now, aren't you?" he asked her out of nowhere, giving her a piercing stare. "This orphanage business must be keeping you on your toes."

Lucca drummed her fingers upon the table. "It's the best and worst thing I've ever done, Crono. I love the kids -I really do- but it's tough. And I have no one to help me-"

Her heart beat slightly faster as she felt the warmth of his hand upon hers. "Don't worry about it, Lucca. You'll find the right person - someday."

She slapped his hand away, for some unknown reason feeling a rush of anger. "Crono, I don't need your sympathy-"

"I'm not feeling sorry for you!" he interrupted, sounding almost angry. "It's just that you beat yourself up so much - you take everything to heart. You might have an ego the size of Death Peak sometimes, but you still-" He stopped his thought right there, seeing the look on her face becoming even more severe. "But you're not the only one feeling stressed right now," he added grimly, clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles started to turn white. "I'm having a time of it, too. We got word today that Porre has overrun Medina - that's why the ferry hasn't been coming."

"Porre invaded? _Again?!_" Lucca's cut in hoarsely, suddenly gripping the table hard. A horrible feeling overtook her - _she _was contributing to this madness, _she _was currently helping Porre invade more places, _her _weapon would someday be used against those poor Mystics...

"Yes," said Crono through clenched teeth. "I don't know what to do anymore - that's the third nation now. For all I know we could be next. And our army's been in a steadily decline ever since the end of the Mystic War...I think they're looking to take over the entire world, Lucca, and I think they're capable of it."

Lucca thought back to the demi-human she had talked with earlier, a chill overtaking her spine. Yes, it _was_ possible, if he was any indication, they _were _capable of taking over the world...what was standing in their way? She shuddered. "Crono?" she asked plaintively, a thought suddenly coming into her mind. "The future we saw in 1999 - it was nothing like this. Do you think we could have - could have - changed something for the worse?"

He shook his head. "I don't know, Lucca, I just don't know," he replied slowly. "I don't believe that _anything _could have been worse than Lavos, but we did it for better or worse. We'll have to suffer the consequences of it if we did it for worse..." He trailed off thoughtfully. 

It was then that Marle came tramping back down the stairs, looking slightly disheveled. "Well, I'm glad that THAT'S over," she said briskly, zipping up her bag. "He's not exactly a happy camper up there." 

"Don't even mention him and the word _happy _in the same sentence," Lucca shot back, standing back up. "How long until he's healed and out of here?"

"Three days, probably," Marle replied, her eyes glinting. "But you know, Lucca, three days is _just _enough time for the two of you to-"

"-To hate each other for the rest of our lives?" Lucca interrupted dryly. "Listen, that just won't work. I ALREADY hate him."

"Whatever you say, Lucca, _whatever _you say," Marle tittered annoyingly.

Crono, whose head had been literally swiveling left to right as if watching a spectator match, decided to step in at this point. Standing up and starting to stack all of the books at a frenzied pace, he looked up, announcing rather nervously, "Well, -ah- I think we'd better get going then, if that's -ah- all right..." He trailed off, appearing to look very interested in the table of contents of an especially old-looking tome (although it was quite obvious that he wasn't reading, as it was actually upside down). 

"Are you all right here, then?" Marle asked Lucca briskly, zipping up her other bag and heading towards the door. 

"Yes, I'm fine." _(Even more so if you just LEAVE already!)_

"We'll come back to check on him sometime soon when we have time. Don't expect us for at least two days, though."

"OK." _(By all means, why don't you make it THREE?!)_

"And be nice to him. If you keep him -um- happy, then maybe he'll heal faster."

"I'll keep that in mind." _(But not in the way YOU'RE thinking.)_

Having collected every book off the table, Crono crossed the kitchen to join Marle. "See ya later, then," he said, waving goodbye. "Good luck with everything."

As the door snapped shut behind them, Lucca couldn't resist saying out loud, "Good luck all right. I'll consider it good luck if the house is actually standing by this time tomorrow."

***

Lucca was tired. Very tired. Extremely tired. So tired that she had difficulty putting one leg in front of the other as she climbed the staircase. Today had been an absolutely suicide-inducing day, what with overactive children, explosions, and _Marle_, among other things. The last item on the list alone was enough to involuntarily induce coma for at least a month. 

__

(And it's just about to end with a bang,) she thought as she approached the somehow foreboding door at the end of the hallway. Her intelligent brain had, albeit grudgingly, reasoned that she needed to check on her charge one last time before she retired for the night. Hopefully he would be asleep, she prayed as her hand slowly turned the worn metal knob...

Not surprisingly, he started before she even technically entered the room. "I am absolutely _not_-"

No such luck. 

Lucca rolled her eyes as she (cautiously) approached the murderous-looking, still very much awake warlock, who was sitting up in bed and brandishing the bedpan menacingly. "Oh, geez," she put forth grumpily, stopping at a safe distance. "The bathroom's just next door! You don't need to threaten me with that, for chrissakes!"

The bedpan slowly went back down, but the crimson eyes still glared at her unblinkingly. Lucca could have sworn she felt her cheeks redden as the seconds crawled on and he still refused to avert his gaze, but she held her ground, trying to ignore the knife-cutting tension in the room, doing her best to give him a haughty glare right back. Finally...

"What, are you deaf? Mute?" she barked at last. "Or perhaps just dumb?"

"No, I only talk with those as intelligent as myself," Magus replied smoothly, much to her chagrin. Did _anything _seem to faze him?

"You'll just have to talk to yourself, then," she stated. "We don't have any invertebrate marine life handy."

He rose an eyebrow. "Interesting...is _that _where you have been all day? Skulking downstairs trying to come up with something halfway intelligent to say?" He tossed the bedpan at her. Lucca caught it quickly, a cross look slowly overtaking her bespectacled face.

"Well, aren't we Mr. Happy today?" she shot back heatedly, dropping the pan on the carpet with a loud thump. "You give me such a warm fuzzy feeling whenever you're around!" She stepped closer, rounding down on his left side. "And what are you doing here in 1011 A.D. _anyway_?!" she added, voicing aloud something that had been bothering her for the past twenty-four hours. "Don't you remember the pact we all made after we defeated Lavos, you moron?!"

He snorted. "I don't recall ever being a part of a foolish _pact_," he stated clearly, a hint of animosity apparent in his voice. 

"Well, there _was _one!" she insisted vigorously. "We all promised not to mess around with time anymore! To leave everything as it was! And you - _you_-" Her finger shook as it pointed towards him; her anger was making her speechless. What if _he _had caused all those recent disturbances here in this time period?! When it all came down to it, Lucca had never exactly believed him to be an upstanding citizen...

"I _assure_ you, I did _not _come here to visit you and this little hovel." He snorted again, shifting restlessly under the thick layer of coverlets. "Given the choice, I would never have come here again. I was thrown here totally by mistake."

"What, so you were actually planning on terrorizing _another _year?" Lucca retorted, glaring at him suspiciously. 

He gritted his teeth impatiently. "_No, _you little fool! I wasn't messing with the time stream at all! _It - just - HAPPENED..._" He inhaled sharply as relived his last moments in 11,995 B.C... He had been close, _so _close to discovering what had happened to Schala...

Lucca's reply was sharp. "Well, why are you here, then?! What were you _really _doing?!" Obviously it had been something powerful and possibly even dangerous; it took a lot to unfold time, even with a magical aura of Magus's caliber. 

"Inquisitive, aren't you?" Magus replied darkly, giving her one of his icy stares. "You're just asking for a trip to the Void..." 

"And _you're _just asking for a spanked bottom!" Lucca shouted hotly, immediately regretting her words and starting to blush the most glorious shade of crimson. Of all the things he could have asked for, it definitely would not have been THAT... Went to show what her mind was _still _on, even after a long, harrowing day. 

This seemed to make him even more cross. "Filthy little mind, haven't we?" he snorted, noting her embarrassment. "Believe me, if I ever went insane and actually ENJOYED being spanked, it wouldn't be by _you_."

Despite having just been one-upped, Lucca started to snort with laughter. "What?!" Magus barked, feeling quite chagrined at her amusement.

Lucca was practically hyperventilating at this point. "You make it sound as if you've had more than a little experience in _that_ department!" she choked, leaning on the bedpost for support. "Were you the spanker or the spankee?!"

"I will NOT dignify that with a response!" he hissed, tossing his head angrily.

"So you admit it, then! So who was it? Flea? Slash? _Ozzie?!" _At this point she burst into uncontrollable, unladylike giggles, unable to contain it any longer. The image, however grotesque, seemed to have tickled her funny bone. 

"_No one_!" was the agitated reply, his face slowly beginning to turn an interesting shade of eggplant. "How _dare _you have the nerve-"

"Oh, just can it!" she giggled, unable to look him properly in the eye. "You're just making the situation worse for you, tirading like that! Geez..." She staggered off towards the door, sides still heaving rather violently, having just decided that although annoying Magus was quite a fun pastime, she still had to read up on Kid's dream. 

She left the room, slamming the door behind her, but no sooner had it shut than she began to burst into a fresh fit of the giggles. She had NEVER laughed this hard for years, nor at something as stupid as this. Honestly, being stuck seven days a week twenty-four hours a day with twelve kids in a limited amount of space was starting to fry her brains...

She turned around in the direction of the door one last time, as if to reassure herself that something THAT ridiculous had just happened. However, she noticed something odd as she stared at its normally smooth surface...

There was now a black charred mark near the knob, about level with her waist. _Almost _as if a certain torqued evil wizard had decided to throw a weak fireball at her in retaliation for her so-called evil deeds...

"Oops," she muttered as her finger traced the still warm mark. 

Author's Note: Don't start. I'm already ashamed of that little part with the spanking. Someone must have put something illegal in my soda.

Wheee, plot chapter! Yeah, yeah, I'm well aware that the entire first half of the chapter had nothing too funny in it, but forgive me. I'm mostly a humor writer, but lately I've been trying to concentrate more on plot with my fics. I'll make sure to put more random harrassment in chapter six, since I love it and it's loads of fun for me to write anyway. And besides: Magus + hyperactive kids + annoyed Lucca = hell. I'm thinking about getting into that next chapter, too.

Reviews, as usual, are also greatly appreciated. So if you read it -uh- please review! Whether it's a 'good job', an 'I hated it, it's crap', or suggestions for improvement, I'll appreciate it (well, probably not the second one, but still...) and it will help me get a decently-written chapter out sooner. Thanks!


	6. Purple Kool Aid

Disclaimer: Here's a mind-blowing bit of news: I don't own Squaresoft. *sighs and stares at the floor* Darn...

Author's Note: *Laughs nervously* Really now, you don't have to get out the tar and feathers! Really! I updated! And it turned out to be a rather -um- interesting chapter, too. Come and see!

I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I figured I'd better just hurry up and update before you really DID get out the tar and feathers. Not to mention that I've noticed that longer chapters scare a lot of people off. Including me! *Gulps* 

One more thing, and then I'll shut up: this chapter is blatantly retarded. It is the offspring of two separate caffeine highs and to listening to strange music. Just warning you. 

***

"Lucca!"

"Mrghhhhhhh..."

"Lucca!"

"Aghhhhhhh..."

"_LUCCA!"_

"Aagh!! _Help_!" Lucca gave a small shriek as she was thankfully jerked out of a rather horrid dream involving Magus, a hospital gown, and an innumerable amount of bedpans. Groggily rubbing her back, which, by the way, was as stiff as a board due to the fact that she had fallen asleep in the living room recliner, she made a silent vow to never provoke Magus with a bedpan OR to eat grape jelly before bed ever again.

"Wha -- wha IS it, Tanar?" She stifled a yawn as she slid her glasses back onto her nose, slowly bringing the world back into view, namely the cute little blond head that was currently staring at her with large unblinking blue eyes. 

He said nothing; he only had to point towards the large puddle on the floor nearby to get his idea across.

Lucca grumbled irritably as she desperately fought with the chair's foot recline. "Geez, my life sucks."

***

__

~Forty-five minutes, twelve noisy kids, and a cleaned up puddle later~

Everyone was awake and about and breakfast was well on its way by the time Lucca had a spare moment to head upstairs with a can of her own special wood refurbisher. Although it had been roaringly funny the previous night, in hindsight she had become rather angered in regards to the burn mark that Magus had fireballed onto the door. "That _bastard_," she muttered vehemently as she stared at the scorched black sphere that stared innocently at her back. "Does he have regard for ANYONE'S property?" She thought about this for a second, and came to a quick, obvious conclusion. "No, I guess not," she added with a sigh. "After all, this IS Magus we're talking about."

She stared at the door for a moment. "Hmmmm, wonder if I should open it in order to do this..." It took a second and only a second. "No! NO! _Anything _but that!" She gave an involuntary shudder as she thought about the dire consequences of opening it. 

Crouching down, she began to spray the smelly refurbisher onto the door, using her other hand to blot the stuff with a rag. Damn him, damn him, _damn him! _Thanks to _him, _she had to waste her precious, hard begotten time just to fix something that _he _had done...

She was just standing to go back downstairs to tend to breakfast when a shout abruptly rang out from within the room. "Dammit, whoever is banging on that confounded door had better _quit _it!"

One word: _shit. _

Rolling her eyes and seeing no other better option, Lucca swiveled back around and entered the room, doing her best to give the offending mage her haughtiest glare as she approached the bed. "_Yes, _my Lord. Anything else I can do for you?" She questioned him, giving him her very best mock bow.

Not surprisingly, he wasn't amused at her efforts. "You know, _someone _ought to keep quiet outside the door if _someone _wants to live past puberty," he announced through gritted teeth.

Aaaahhhh, it stung. But Lucca, however, wasn't one to take it quietly. "Yes, and _someone _should also be repairing the scorch mark that _he_ made on _my _door," she replied through equally gritted teeth.

"Which _someone _justifiably deserved," he shot back, shifting moodily within the coverlets. "And where the hell is my breakfast?!" he added with a hiss. "I haven't eaten since last night!"

Lucca grinned and replied with what she thought a good comeback. "Really? I thought that you could just sustain yourself with all the hot air that constantly blows out of your mouth!" She shook her head in mock pity. "Poor _poor _Maggy. He hasn't eaten in what seems like _ages. _My heart bleeds purple Kool-Aid for his piteous predicament!"

"And _someone _will be bleeding quite soon if they don't can it."

"You, you mean?" she put in coolly. "I suppose all that spanking _doesn't _do wonders for certain tender areas, does it?"

He snarled, "You _dare _mock me, you impudent wench?"

She pretended to think for a moment. "Actually...yes. Come to think of it, I am."

Her only reply was a rather infuriated growl.

"Oh, all _right,_" she finally gave in irritably. "You really don't like to have any fun, do you? _Fine. _I _will _get you some breakfast." She walked away, suddenly stopping at the door when she came up with a newer (but perhaps not brighter) idea. "Hey...come to think of it, why don't you eat downstairs this morning? After all, it's about time that all the kids _did _meet you. I've been telling them all this time that the Bogeyman's been lurking in this room. Although I guess I wasn't too far off from the mark there," she added dryly.

She stared at him crossly when he just "harrumphed" at her suggestion. "Well, what NOW?!" she questioned him, chagrined. "Is the kitchen table not good enough for his Highness?"

"I can't exactly get downstairs with this _ankle, _you know, you little moron," he replied pointedly, sulkily gesturing towards her hand, which was closed around the doorknob.

"Well, thanks for the FYI, Captain Obvious," she told him airily as she exited the room. "I'll be coming back up to get you, so don't you cry _too_ hard while I'm gone."

She slammed the door pointedly, making sure to open it and slam it again several times in order to make a statement.

"Damn, this door's gonna be destroyed before long," she grumbled as she noticed yet another charred mark near the knob.

***

Breakfast was finally ready. Not that Lucca had toiled over the stove for an incredibly long amount of time, as the food itself was just toast and sausage, but even cooking THAT for fourteen was quite a task. Hurriedly tossing silverware onto the long wooden table, she turned and tried to round up all the children, who by now were all (unfortunately) up and about.

"Narcissa, go outside and try to find your sister."

"Is Maribelle still feeling funny? Ask her if she's hungry."

"Ted, stop that and get to the table!"

In this manner she managed to eventually corral everyone into the kitchen and into their seats, but she soon noticed that Kid was not among them. She headed upstairs to her room to find her (she had allowed Kid, being the oldest, to move into her parents' old room) and was greeted by an unusual sight. 

Kid was lying peacefully in her bed, completely dressed for the day but still snoring. _That _wasn't all-in-all unusual, as when not stressed she was actually quite lazy in the morning, but what bothered Lucca was the fact that her prized antique pendant was not around her neck but clutched firmly in one curled palm. 

__

(Weird... She NEVER takes that pendant off. And I mean never. Not even when she's swimming...)

The tale behind Kid's special pendant was a whole mystery within itself. All that Lucca knew was that she had been wearing it around her neck upon finding her in the woods on that day many years ago... It was a beautiful thing, actually not unlike Marle's pendant; it was a rock of deep crystalline blue, trimmed with some unknown silvery metal. From her infant years on Kid had always been rather enamored with the thing; she had always worn it and was always playing around with it. And she never took it off, as it seemed to serve as the only link between her and her unknown past. Not ever. 

"Ahhhhh, maybe I'm just overreacting," Lucca muttered to herself, hastening to the side of the bed to wake her up. "Shouldn't have slept in that rock-hard recliner..." And that, unfortunately, reminded her of yet another thing: she had failed to find anything in her books related to Kid's malady. Four hours of late-night searching had yielded absolutely nothing. Damn, that pissed her off. Possibly even more than the fact that an angry, fire-wielding wizard had mercilessly taken over her guest room. 

An angry, fire-wielding wizard that had a thing for destroying doors. 

Geez, her head was going to explode sooner or later from it all.

Exploding heads aside, she went ahead and shook Kid awake, looking on interestedly as she watched her young charge rub her eyes lethargically and then proceed to hook the pendant back around her neck. 

"Why did you take your pendant off, Kid?" she asked her curiously as they both turned to go back downstairs. 

"Oh, I don't know," came the sleepy answer. "I just noticed something one night. That whenever I take my pendant off, I never dream."

Author's Note: Was that a...good place to stop? Probably not. 

*Sighs* I'm not sure when I'll be updating again. Probably not for awhile. I'm going to be quite busy pretty soon (even busier than I've been lately, if THAT'S possible), but I WILL keep going with this. Most definitely. I know this story doesn't even compare to my other LuMa (it lacks all the sexual tension and the plot points that made that one special), but hey, it's weird and fun to write. Not to mention I haven't gotten them to kiss yet...

As always, thanks for the wonderful reviews. I wish I could shout out to some of you (there's a few plotholes that need explaining on my part, such as Kid's accent, not to mention lots of thank you's), but I'd better just shut up and upload this. Please remember to review and tell me how retarded this was! :)


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